after being on this forum, and the one before it, for several years......... it has become my belief that many single IFB men are looking a beautiful, and free spirited woman they can press under their thumb and turn into something depressed and ugly..........many single women are looking for something that their mom and dad will approve of....or that will gain them status as being a christian wife who is right with God (in peoples eyes ofcourse) ... they hate the idea of becoming depressed and ugly but are willing to do it if that what it takes to be seen as being right with God .......
well... that is certainly not all of the christian singles who are that way...... but it is how i see some of them............... sorry...........
As someone who is health conscious, I would do all I can to keep my wife looking beautiful, as well as having us keep each other accountable for our diets and physical activity.
As someone who enjoys cooking and does his share of cleaning, I am not a jock slob looking for a house maid and someone to put 20 lbs. on my gut as I become a couch potato. I get very uneasy when I see fellow single guys who are messy and go through the drive-through three nights per week talk about how they really need a wife to cook and clean for them. I tell them, that they had better start to work on those problems now because after a few months of marriage when all the superficial romance passes and reality sets it, those burdens will become a wake-up call.
I do not agree with the IFBx rules for dress code not found anywhere in Scripture. I would pretty much let my wife wear whatever she wants provided we can agree upon what is "modest" and does not appear to either of us to advertise outside our own relationship.
Basically, I am looking for a companion, a helpmeet, a team player, and a friend, not an indentured servant and a maid.
__________________
100% Trinitarian
Quotable quotes:
Jesus Christ is the King James Bible, so your attempt to prove stucky wrong was in vain. -- EZBelieve
This is a serious question; do you really think he is intestinally lying? -- onefaith
I'm not now nor am I ever going to look any word from the Bible up in a greek or hebrew lexicon. -- Vander
Could you please elaborate on your meaning of this?
Maybe she is thinking of the IFBx mentality that a wife becomes merely a piece of property where she is chained to the house, is obligated to do all the scrubbing and cleaning every day so that her skin ages twice as fast as it should, is forced to wear long dresses in every activity no matter how uncomfortable and unfitting for the task at hand they are, is not allowed actually to enjoy exercise (i.e. playing sports), feels like a sex toy and gets dumped virtually all the responsibility of rearing the resultant children while the father's role is playing softball with junior on Saturdays, feels that submission to her husband is solely duty on her part and the possible reward for this is "love" shown by token affection, which can often be indistinguishable from mere self-centered desire, etc.
__________________
100% Trinitarian
Quotable quotes:
Jesus Christ is the King James Bible, so your attempt to prove stucky wrong was in vain. -- EZBelieve
This is a serious question; do you really think he is intestinally lying? -- onefaith
I'm not now nor am I ever going to look any word from the Bible up in a greek or hebrew lexicon. -- Vander
Maybe she is thinking of the IFBx mentality that a wife becomes merely a piece of property where she is chained to the house, is obligated to do all the scrubbing and cleaning every day so that her skin ages twice as fast as it should, is forced to wear long dresses in every activity no matter how uncomfortable and unfitting for the task at hand they are, is not allowed actually to enjoy exercise (i.e. playing sports), feels like a sex toy and gets dumped virtually all the responsibility of rearing the resultant children while the father's role is playing softball with junior on Saturdays, feels that submission to her husband is solely duty on her part and the possible reward for this is "love" shown by token affection, which can often be indistinguishable from mere self-centered desire, etc.
wow... yeah... that is exactly what i was talking about..... .. you said it much better than i did............. i have a brother and sister in law who are IFBX to the maximum extreme........ she is an exception to the pressed down wife thing..... my brother would never do her that way.... but many of the women in their church are........ my SIL is a stay at home mom and does home schooling too but she is also very active physically and is seen as kind of a rebel by the other women in their church.......... it is funny coz she is a rebel there but when she comes here to visit she is always lecturing my sister and me and trying to get us to dress differently, etc.... ...
didn't mean for my post to sound harsh.... but lately the forum has been a little harsh........ at least in my opinion.....
__________________ your world is yours, not mine... your dreams belong to you...
you may have touched the stars, but they were not moved...
and though you reach for me, i may not choose to hold your hand...
i may smile.. or i might turn away...........
When I was younger, I was around some people who said you need to write out a list of everything you want in your future spouse and pray about it everyday, and God would give you that person. Everything from
being saved
believing this
or that
to
green eyes
brown hair
a nice... ummm.... nose
literally EVERYTHING
well, I think that may be going a little extreme, but there are certain things we all look for. What are some of yours?
Money.
__________________ patzer00@yahoo.com
joe patzer on AIM
Most people are held prisoner by what they've been taught. Conditional election is not grace. It is good to participate. It is better to win.
after being on this forum, and the one before it, for several years......... it has become my belief that many single IFB men are looking a beautiful, and free spirited woman they can press under their thumb and turn into something depressed and ugly..........many single women are looking for something that their mom and dad will approve of....or that will gain them status as being a christian wife who is right with God (in peoples eyes ofcourse) ... they hate the idea of becoming depressed and ugly but are willing to do it if that what it takes to be seen as being right with God .......
well... that is certainly not all of the christian singles who are that way...... but it is how i see some of them............... sorry...........
I'm not surprise you think that judging from some that post here on the forum.
I think it was the Fairhaven forum where similar issues were discussed. If I understood correctly, women there were discouraged from wearing makeup and beautifying themselves. It even went to the extent of associating good looks with evil....
__________________
"I really struggle with American Christianity. I'm not really sure that people with our cultural disabilities are capable of having souls, or being saved..People who grow up in a culture that worships pleasure, leisure, and affluence. I think that's where the church is doubly damned when they use Jesus as a vehicle for achieving all of that. Like, if you give a tithe, He'll make you rich" Rich Mullins
Basically, I am looking for a companion, a helpmeet, a team player, and a friend, not an indentured servant and a maid.
Good point...never understood why anyone would be looking for anything less...
__________________
"I really struggle with American Christianity. I'm not really sure that people with our cultural disabilities are capable of having souls, or being saved..People who grow up in a culture that worships pleasure, leisure, and affluence. I think that's where the church is doubly damned when they use Jesus as a vehicle for achieving all of that. Like, if you give a tithe, He'll make you rich" Rich Mullins
My priorities in what I look for vary with my degree of desperation. Right now, my top two priorities are:
1. Female
2. Breathing
good luck...he are going to have a hard time finding that...
__________________
"I really struggle with American Christianity. I'm not really sure that people with our cultural disabilities are capable of having souls, or being saved..People who grow up in a culture that worships pleasure, leisure, and affluence. I think that's where the church is doubly damned when they use Jesus as a vehicle for achieving all of that. Like, if you give a tithe, He'll make you rich" Rich Mullins
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.. you said it much better than i did............. i have a brother and sister in law who are IFBX to the maximum extreme........ she is an exception to the pressed down wife thing..... my brother would never do her that way.... but many of the women in their church are........ my SIL is a stay at home mom and does home schooling too but she is also very active physically and is seen as kind of a rebel by the other women in their church.......... it is funny coz she is a rebel there but when she comes here to visit she is always lecturing my sister and me and trying to get us to dress differently, etc.... 
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