This morning, I was awakened to my son Thomas frantically waking my husband Dennis so that Thomas could get his new insurance card and put it in his truck. I woke up and sensed that something was very wrong and started asking, "What's wrong? Is everything okay? Hey - what's wrong?" Dennis calmly answered that he was just giving Thomas his insurance card so he could drive. I thought perhaps I was just reading their faces wrong or something.
So, I'm getting out of the shower about 10 minutes later and Dennis says, "Um, Thomas got into a bad accident last night. A 2008 suburban rear-ended him and the lady's airbag went off and hurt her face badly. Thomas was okay, but he heard screaming and went to help the lady - she was covered in blood and wasn't coherent, so he helped her out of the suburban where she collapsed in the middle of the road. He rolled her to the side of the road - she was over 300 pounds, Thomas said - and he managed to call 911 and then was in shock. The woman was still screaming when the paramedics got there and they stayed with Thomas until he was okay. The police gave Thomas the number for the file and told him to call in 3 days to get the police report since the woman was in no condition to answer questions. The back of his little truck is very messed up."
I just stared at him and very calmly asked, "When did this happen?" He said, "At 9:00 last night." He said that he'd spoken to my youngest son Ben who had told him that I'd just gone to bed at 9, and then said that because he couldn't handle both Thomas and I falling to pieces, he'd elected not to tell me anything. I wanted to fly across the room and claw out his eyes. Thomas had needed someone to come and be with him and had called Dennis and Dennis told him he was working. Dennis said that he wanted Thomas to know that he could handle it on his own and that he would be okay. I did understand that there was some 'guy' something going on there, but to just not say anything to me was WRONG.
Alright, be honest, really and truly honest, would you have wanted your husband to tell you when it happened? Is there some 'man' thing I'm missing here? I didn't 'fall to pieces' when he told me. I was perfectly calm and rational and asked what I could do to help out today.
I hate to lump it into "this is a guy thing," but I believe it is. I would have wanted to be told when it happened!
Last year I was at work and got a text picture on my phone of my 2 year old looking dazed, covered to the neck in hospital drapes, and gauze on his face. That was my husband's way of letting me know my child had fallen, and had sedation and stitches at the hospital.
I'm totally with you on this one! I guess it's the mom in me, but I'd want to know immediately.
Okay - an update. He called me from Vacation Bible School a few minutes ago. Apparently he has polled all the women there, telling them what happened. 100% of them told him he should never ever have kept it from me. So, he called to tell me that after further consideration, he probably should have let me know. I thanked him properly for admitting it.
I can't imagine my son not coming in and waking me up to tell me he'd been in an accident. My boys have always come to me first about everything ( which is a habit from my husband's Navy days when he'd be away from home fro months at a time.) I'd be most appreciative if my husband and son decided to handle something like that on their own.
Okay - an update. He called me from Vacation Bible School a few minutes ago. Apparently he has polled all the women there, telling them what happened. 100% of them told him he should never ever have kept it from me. So, he called to tell me that after further consideration, he probably should have let me know. I thanked him properly for admitting it.
Good man...but a better man would have taken his wife's word for it...
I too would have wanted to know, BTW!!
__________________ "Silence should never under any circumstances be construed as agreement. A lot of the time, it's simply a reflection that someone just said something so incredibly stupid that no response could possibly do it justice."
"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us."
- Helen Keller
"Sometimes the fallen and repentant make the best teachers."
Good man...but a better man would have taken his wife's word for it...
I too would have wanted to know, BTW!!
I was reading this thread this morning and I reread what I posted above...and I felt like what I said didn't come off as being very kind...so please accept my apology for that...
I do believe MrsSoprano's husband IS a good and better man...afterall...she married him...
__________________ "Silence should never under any circumstances be construed as agreement. A lot of the time, it's simply a reflection that someone just said something so incredibly stupid that no response could possibly do it justice."
"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us."
- Helen Keller
"Sometimes the fallen and repentant make the best teachers."
Okay - an update. He called me from Vacation Bible School a few minutes ago. Apparently he has polled all the women there, telling them what happened. 100% of them told him he should never ever have kept it from me. So, he called to tell me that after further consideration, he probably should have let me know. I thanked him properly for admitting it.
June 16 must be remembered ... maybe set aside as a national holiday from now on -- a man actually admitted to being wrong about something.
I hate to lump it into "this is a guy thing," but I believe it is. I would have wanted to be told when it happened!
Last year I was at work and got a text picture on my phone of my 2 year old looking dazed, covered to the neck in hospital drapes, and gauze on his face. That was my husband's way of letting me know my child had fallen, and had sedation and stitches at the hospital.
Um, thanks.
I was pretty upset.
Oh. Wow. Uh, yes, I can see how you would have been!!!!
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Alright, be honest with me...
My favorite Veteran!
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