I have tried it both ways, and believe me; this way works best, and turns out more mentally stable children.
The other posts beneath mine added to the correct formula that works. You don't have to beat your children.
I should read more slowly; no wonder Bass gets angry at me! LOL
I read the first post not thinking you meant "no spanking" go figure. I think you said some good stuff, but I did spank mine; it has worked well, praise the Lord!
~Gina
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The happiness of the domestic fireside is the first boon of Heaven; and it is well it is so, since it is that which is the lot of the mass of mankind. ~Thomas Jefferson, 1813
I have tried it both ways, and believe me; this way works best, and turns out more mentally stable children.
The other posts beneath mine added to the correct formula that works. You don't have to beat your children.
You are absolutely right! I have three teenagers who are living proof. Good kids who have their own personal relationship with Christ and are being intentional in their walk with God. I have no children related stress...they have never even back talked me. We live together, we learn together, we respect each other. Respect goes an incredibly long way.
It seems to me that what many on this forum talk about is punishment...which I don't do! I am here to discipline. The goal is for me (and my husband) to act in such a way that their reaction is to want to correct whatever they are doing that is harmful to their physical or spiritual life. Not beat them into a reaction. You want them to learn, not just regurgitate the proper response.
But what do I know? I just have three happy, well rounded, respectable kids who don't need to go to a group home.
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Some things just make you shake your head and say, "Wow".
Originally Posted by Ebenezer
"There is a time when slapping a grandma might be the proper course of action. That you can't think of one simply means your imagination is weak. There is a time to shoot a teenager. And there is certainly a time for a preacher/prophet to advocate violence. I need not repent for these statements at all."
I should read more slowly; no wonder Bass gets angry at me! LOL
I read the first post not thinking you meant "no spanking" go figure. I think you said some good stuff, but I did spank mine; it has worked well, praise the Lord!
~Gina
I think balanced spanking in love and not anger does work well, but in our society it is frowned upon. And I know that you can discipline just as well without the spanking if you are consistent with other forms of discipline. I'm sure you have done a great job with your children. You sound like someone who loves your kids.
I should read more slowly; no wonder Bass gets angry at me! LOL
I read the first post not thinking you meant "no spanking" go figure. I think you said some good stuff, but I did spank mine; it has worked well, praise the Lord!
~Gina
I should add, I don't see a need to spank but that is not to say that others can't use it. I know people who employed spanking for young children and as the kids grew, so did the parents and the way they disciplined. I just know that it isn't necessarily necessary. And there is a huge difference between spanking jr on the diapered bottom and beating your kid.
I would never recommend it because you just don't know how far any particular parent may go with it.
__________________
Some things just make you shake your head and say, "Wow".
Originally Posted by Ebenezer
"There is a time when slapping a grandma might be the proper course of action. That you can't think of one simply means your imagination is weak. There is a time to shoot a teenager. And there is certainly a time for a preacher/prophet to advocate violence. I need not repent for these statements at all."
I think balanced spanking in love and not anger does work well, but in our society it is frowned upon. And I know that you can discipline just as well without the spanking if you are consistent with other forms of discipline. I'm sure you have done a great job with your children. You sound like someone who loves your kids.
Sorry, I didn't mean to be posting over top of you. You're doing fine without me.
__________________
Some things just make you shake your head and say, "Wow".
Originally Posted by Ebenezer
"There is a time when slapping a grandma might be the proper course of action. That you can't think of one simply means your imagination is weak. There is a time to shoot a teenager. And there is certainly a time for a preacher/prophet to advocate violence. I need not repent for these statements at all."
I should add, I don't see a need to spank but that is not to say that others can't use it. I know people who employed spanking for young children and as the kids grew, so did the parents and the way they disciplined. I just know that it isn't necessarily necessary. And there is a huge difference between spanking jr on the diapered bottom and beating your kid. I would never recommend it because you just don't know how far any particular parent may go with it.
The reason we have had to make new laws to protect children is because too many parents don't know how to discipline in love. What you said is so true.
Sorry, I didn't mean to be posting over top of you. You're doing fine without me.
But I leave out so much, it is an important message and I appreciate your input. I like being reminded of the fact that we can all learn to discipline better as we try to help our children get through the hard years of growing up.
I know discipline is absolutely necessary when raising children. I’m going to give a bit of advice and hope it is wanted.
I realize that a lot of children are being abused, so I care enough to give my advice even though a lot of people may reject it.
The secret to making discipline work is always being constant and not wavering in your resolve.
When a child knows what is coming when they willfully defy your rules, they are a lot less apt to cross that line.
But when it happens and discipline is required, always do it in love.
Do it because you know it is necessary to teach them how to avoid trouble in the future.
If you become angry, send them to their room until you cool down, and then you will be able to show the love they need, even when they have done wrong.
When you stay regular with discipline the child knows what to expect, and they are happier for it.
The easiest thing is just to take something they really want away for a while. You know what those things are.
But always be fair and discipline the way you would want to be treated if it were you.
Probably the most important part of discipline is being sure that your children understand what they have done to deserve the action you were forced to take, and that you still love them anyway.
Be quick to discipline when it is warranted, but I always come back afterward and talk to the child about what just happened. Have them tell you what they did that caused the trouble.
You will be surprised at how many times children don’t fully understand what they did and why they were punished. If the child doesn’t understand why they were punished, all you accomplished was distancing your child and losing the ability to communicate.
They must know that you love them no matter what, and that your discipline is a part of your love because you want them to have the best life possible.
Discipline with love and end up with a bunch of balanced kids.
Discipline with anger and end up with angry out of control kids.
Don’t discipline at all and end up with a bunch of unbalanced out of control kids.
I have seen it too many times.
.
Consistency is usually the way but each situation is different. We aren't Robots so nothing should be rigid.
My daughter steps out of line, I just tell her to pack up and get ready to go to Hephzibah House. Straightens her right up! She is an A honor roll student
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