Keep in mind that anything else I may confess involves other people's lives and I'm not going to say anything else to hurt them.
I agree with that.
I could understand attacks on you if you were still clinging to the pulpit. But you stepped down...which was the correct thing to do. You also stated you will never be a pastor again.
The circumstances surrounding your divorce are, frankly, none of my business.
Of course God can still use you as a layman. I hope you have found a new church to encourage you while you rebuild your life.
__________________
. Dr. AmazedbyGrace, Doctorate of Bodacious Babe Burqas, BBB.D.
anti-libel notice:
Of course, the above commentary is only my very humble opinion and, therefore, highly questionable.
Several times in this thread you have stated that in a pm to you I denied having had an affair. I did not. However, what I wrote to you may have been misleading. Here is what I said, in part:
Quote:
I wonder though, why would you publicly accuse me of being a drunk? What was the motivation? Who was a witness to this accusation? And you seem to be accusing me of having used the old FFF as a way to troll for women? Odd. Where would you get that? With whom, exactly, did I allegedly have an affair? Can you name the woman?
Let's be clear. I left the ministry. I left it voluntarily. I left it intact. The church I was a pastor of when I resigned is healthy and active with many of the same members who still love and appreciate me. I know this because I live in the same community and see them regularly on the streets and in the stores. Even some of my old "enemies" if you could call them such, people with whom I had doctrinal differences will stop and wave and wish me well. I am no saint, trust me. Marty, I don't even go to church very much. Mostly because I don't care. That's not an excuse, btw, that's an explanation. I am also certain it is only in the short-term for the God who would and will not forsake me will see to it that I do not forsake him.
In the meantime I'm not sure what your thinking is concerning my "reappearance" on the board. Was I too brash? Probably. I usually am. But I can tell you I'm not going to be a regular. I consider it a waste of time. I am going to blog again and I'm not sure what your veiled threat about that was. I think I made it clear and make it clear on the blog itself that the new blog will be nothing at all like my old ones. I merely reappeared at the FFF for the purpose of steering a little traffic my way.
So lets' make a list:
1) I'm not a pastor nor do I wish to be one.
2) I'm not gunning for Bob Gray or LBT or any of his toadies
3) I'm not looking to be anyone's spiritual mentor.
4) I'm not a fundamentalist in any sense in which you would probably use the term nor do I want anything to do with the movement.
5) I am looking to write, think, pass time, educate--more about ideology than about theology, though the two are inexorably linked.
So I'm not trying to sneak back in or re-establish myself as anything--but a blogger. And last I checked the first amendment to the constitution, that's ok.
James T. Spurgeon
I should have been more clear. I did have an on-line affair with a married woman. Saying more than that would, I think, reveal more about her than is necessary and as she has made attempts to repent and make amends and go on with her life I don't see how giving her away is going to do anything beyond making her infamous--something neither she nor her husband need or want.
While we're clearing the air . . .
I have never had a problem with alcohol. I am building a house and until it is done, and it seems like it will never get done, I am doing like a lot of other people do when they buy property and build a house, I am living in the RV parked next to the new construction. Somehow "living in a trailer" makes the whole thing seem more seedy, doesn't it? I did not leave my wife and kids for another woman. My separation was a l-o-n-g time coming and happened independently of the "affair." I never "left" my children. I still see them nearly every day and daresay I have a better relationship with them than a lot of at-home dads do. That's not to say that what I have is good enough or that it is as good as living there. It isn't. But it is not like I abandoned them.
Also, I think it needs to be said that in any marriage which ends in divorce there are two sides, two perspectives. It would be easy to just think that I had an affair and that's why my marriage is over. That is simply not the case. As well-known people who tried to intervene at the time could attest to, I had plenty of opportunity to "reconcile" or attempt to "reconcile" for whatever that's worth. I chose not to and I think there was wisdom, much wisdom behind my choice. I sued for divorce. I ended the marriage. It was not for another woman. It was for a multiplicity of reasons for which I feel justified and I don't lose sleep over it at night. It would be too easy for me to dump on my ex- here by going into details, but again, there are other lives involved who do not need the notoriety, not the least of which are my four children and their mother.
Oh, and one day I will re-marry and it won't be to the woman for whom I supposedly left my wife and kids.
Frankly, I don't know why I've gone into this much detail tonight. To be honest, I don't know that I owed anyone this much, but here you have it.
I do think I have a future and I do think I still have something to say and I do think I need to be writing both for the aforementioned reason and also because I need the practice. If you are interested in Christian apologetics, or how our theology ties in with our ideology, or perhaps some political punditry, written from a layman's perspective in what will hopefully be an entertaining fashion on an entertaining blog, then come read. If not, don't. And if it's not worth reading, no one will read it. Right?
As for having to have the moral ground to criticize another pastor, that's true to a point and that's why I no longer do so. On the other hand, truth is truth no matter who the messenger is--the messenger either has substance or he does not. Take that for what it's worth, I'll not argue it.
BTW - thanks, Ransom, for the back-handed compliment to my writing.
Oh, and the book? That was not a criticism. That was a record. The record cannot be retroactively changed.
Now let me ask you something. Does that mean I should just die and stop living? Does that mean I should just wallow in self-pity the rest of my life? Should I really become a drunk like the rumors stated? Or should I repent and go on attempting to live within the parameters of what I can legitimately do under God's word? You tell me.
Only since you asked, James: Write for the sake of the audience, and your writing will be far more engaging. In my opinion that's what you should do next.
Quote:
Now what shall I do with the rest of my life? I don't know for sure, but I'm not going to roll over and play dead.
Again, since you asked, write in terms of what others need and not in terms of stating an opinion. If you really want a meaningful life, in my opinion, you still have to live it in those terms. Your blog is boring and comes across as pompous, and that's because you're blasting words into the ether instead of telling people something they can use and that will benefit them.
Quote:
Frankly, the place doesn't interest me like it used to. I look at that whole "fundamentalist" phase in my life as something akin to Bizzaro-world.
A lot of us look at the sad fall of your life, your sudden, unexplained departure, and your abrupt reappearance as just one more chapter or episode in that Bizzaro world.
Of course you can be forgiven and reinstated to fellowship, and I hope you are. But grow up! You were here for a long time as a regular and popular poster, living a lie, and then abruptly disappeared. So yes, people feel a little slow to warm up to you again, and they mistrust you. What you did, in your mind, may be over, but there are normal and real consequences. And you'll be dealing with them for years to come, and so now is the time to learn to patiently work through them and help people find common ground with you.
I respect you for leaving the ministry and rebuilding your life, and I hope you'll respect others who were really stunned at your abrupt disappearance and the accounts of your fall. They don't have an obligation to re-accept you on your previous terms, (even with the pastor part removed). And questions are pretty normal.
So you can call this place a Bizarro world and leave, or you can stay. But how about if you cut out the staying while claiming you are leaving stuff?
O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not!
No Kidding, Speaking Of The Fundy's Eating Their Own!
Sheesh!
I was thinking the exact same thing. I am so sick of this "prove to me you've repented and you're sorry for your transgressions" crap I could puke. I promise you, the man has been through hell in the last couple of years. The pompous on this forum who think their own crap doesn't stink need a wake up call.
There isn't a poster on this forum who hasn't fallen at some point in their life.
I was thinking the exact same thing. I am so sick of this "prove to me you've repented and you're sorry for your transgressions" crap I could puke. I promise you, the man has been through hell in the last couple of years. The pompous on this forum who think their own crap doesn't stink need a wake up call.
There isn't a poster on this forum who hasn't fallen at some point in their life.
It's not about falling. It's about trust, credibility and honesty. Obviously you just don't get it.
__________________ WARNING: The views expressed in this post are not necessarily the views of my family, my church or my pastor.
It's not about falling. It's about trust, credibility and honesty. Obviously you just don't get it.
I get it just fine. The man is blogging... not pastoring. Step off your high horse and let bygones be bygones. If you don't want to read the blog... DON'T, but James doesn't owe you or anyone else on this forum a thing.
I get it just fine. The man is blogging... not pastoring. Step off your high horse and let bygones be bygones. If you don't want to read the blog... DON'T, but James doesn't owe you or anyone else on this forum a thing.
I don't remember you. I probably should, but I keep scratching my head and drawing a blank. For that I apologize.
I was going to address a couple of things you had said also, when I wrote last night, but I forgot.
Let's see . . . let me start, I guess, with what I just read from above. Yes, I suppose the issue is credibility--if you meant that about the book then I think I did address that last night. If you mean about the blog, I think most of what I blog about is self-attesting. I report and give opinions about things that interest me, things that I hope will be beneficial to others and stir people to think. So I don't know if my failures in the past are at issue there. Further, I am offering myself to the public-at-large, not just the "Christian" public, so the standards are much lower (see, for example, Rush Limbaugh's 20 million listeners).
As for my "sick" post about "Addressing the Rumors" I frankly found the whole RV thing to be outrageously funny. You may not like it, but my ability to laugh during calamity and to find the humor in even the worst situations has helped me along quite a few times in the past. Now, for just a second, see if you can see this from my perspective, keeping in mind that I am two years removed from most of this, though it still may seem fresh to you.
Here were the allegations. James:
1. Committed adultery.
2. Abandoned his wife and kids.
3. Was a drunk, dealing with alcohol problems.
4. Was living in a trailer/RV.
Doesn't that fourth one seem a little out-of-synch?
So, tongue-in-cheek style, I could not resist addressing that last part in a humorous fashion. Sorry. If you want to call me sick, that's ok with me. For the record I am hoping the house will be complete by end of summer.
Now, I'm off to go play with my kids and tomorrow I go back to work so don't look for me as much, but I may still stop by from time to time. God bless.
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