Testimonies of Praise from Parents (www.hephzibahhouse.org)

FreedomSoar · #1 09-08-2009, 04:01 PM

God used
Hephzibah House
to protect her
I wanted to write and tell you how God used your ministry in our family. We first turned to you when our oldest daughter was in rebellion. We had raised her in church and we were there for every service. We were active in the church and she attended the Christian school there, too. But she started getting in trouble. School personnel and church staff had been reluctant to tell us about her bad attitude and behavior. She was a pretty good actress. As more evidence of her rebellion came to our attention, I started snooping in her things. I was undone when I read a letter to her "boyfriend" that made it clear that they were sexually active. That was when we made the very difficult decision to send her to Hephzibah House. My husband and assistant pastor delivered her to you. I couldn't go, I don't think I could have driven away from her. Our assistant pastor said my husband wept all the way home and he is not the type to show emotion.

That was when God started to work. But it probably wasn't in the way that people would expect. Our daughter was already seventeen when she got there. She knew all she had to do was bide her time and she would be free and old enough to do as her wild heart pleased. The work that God did was in us -- as parents. We started reading the materials that Hephzibah House printed. We started requesting tapes of the preaching. We were so desperate to see a change in our daughter that we soaked up ever word that was preached. I am pretty certain that we ordered every sermon Pastor Williams had preached up to that date and every sermon he preached while our daughter was there. The sermons filled our hearts with Biblical truths about children and family and living for the Lord. We unhooked the TV from its antenna, I threw away my jeans, immodest clothing and gawdy jewelry. We made so many changes during that time. The outward changes were a reflection of the inward changes.

unknowing · #2 09-08-2009, 04:03 PM

Anonymous? I think this was written by Freedomsoar.

FreedomSoar · #3 09-08-2009, 04:03 PM

God's Word became the final authority for our lives. I realized that my daughter was a good actress because I had been a good actress. My daughter was rebellious because I was rebellious. Instead of using Biblical principles, I had been harsh and critical. The law of kindness was not ever in my tongue. We realized our sin was an open door for Satan to walk through and damage our children. However, our daughter left Hephzibah House virtually unchanged. She left home and did her own thing. No matter how bad it got though, or what bad news I heard, I knew God was working in her life. I prayed from Hosea 2 that God would put a hedge of thorns around her and the things decribed therein. I asked God to do whatever it took to turn her heart back home. He did.

Out in the world, she had gotten engaged to a Catholic boy that drank a lot who also had parents that drank a lot ( and had "knock-down - drag-out" fights if I remember correctly). The wedding was being planned without one word from his parents to us. Our daughter was planning to marry this young man who had told her he didn't think he could father children because of some past medical problem. Well he was wrong. When our daughter realized she was pregnant by this man, she knew she could not marry him. He and his parents could never be a part of her child's life. Remember I prayed, "whatever it takes". At this time we had moved away from the area, so our daughter contacted my mother and quickly and secretly went to stay with her. My mother contacted us and I hopped the first plane and literally swooped in and stole her away. It may seem wrong that she just disappeared but when he and his parents realized she had left, they said the baby probably wasn't his. I think they were glad that the son would not have to support the child if the relationship fell apart. (He nor they have ever made any attempt at contact.)

All of these events had occurred, but our daughter's heart still was not changed. She had just been hedged up by a wall of thorns. Hurray! Not much had gone right for her since she had left two years before. Our daughter, after some time, saw the real change in us. She repented and asked us and our church for forgiveness. She was wonderfully saved and gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Then God led the right man into her life, who by the way, had our enthusiastic approval. (Thank you for all the teaching on that.) He adores her and our grand daughter ( and the three sons they have had in addition). He paid a symbolic bride price for her when he asked my husband for her hand. He said that in Bible times a normal bride price was fifty pieces of silver but since there were two of them, he gave my husband 100 pieces of silver in a leather bag he had hand-made.

FreedomSoar · #4 09-08-2009, 04:05 PM

Their courtship was so sweet and Godly. He sent her the most clever and romantic gifts that were linked to scriptural principles. The ladies in our church were swooning over how romantic it was. Our daughter was so sweet and submissive, that she was finally willing to trust God and her parents. Her fiance was twenty-seven, but many years before he had made a covenant with God to wait for God's woman and had remained pure. He went down on one knee in front of all of us to propose. It was one of the greatest gifts God has ever given us. I wanted to jump to my feet and scream praises to God at their wedding. Their lives, their children's lives and their marriage is still a miracle of God.

My daughter's husband is not some goofy-looking slacker either. God gives good gifts. He is godly, handsome, a great provider, a humble servant to the Lord and he even loves his mother-in-law! And our daughter is now a beautiful picture of grace. Her rebellion is washed away by the Blood. She homeschools her children, assists her husband as they are over the junior department in Sunday school and sews coulottes for church ladies. One of her favorite hobbies is trying new recipes, but she can also lay ceramic tile at her husband's side in the home they built. Oh, and something so beautiful that God promised in Hosea, "Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness and speak comfortably unto her. And I will give her her vineyards from thence, and the valley of Achor for a door of hope, and she shall sing there..." She sings now. She sings praises to her Savior. She sings with us as a family, with her sisters, and in the choir.

I want to thank you for preaching the Word. I want to thank you for having a place for our daughter to stay while God removed some things from our lives. She says that God used Hephzibah House to protect her for that time. The young man, to whom she had written the letter I found, went to jail. She says she could be dead and in Hell if she had not been in Hephzibah House. God Bless you. Please pray for us because writing this has been so convicting, I know some things have slipped. I want my heart revived.

A Grateful Family

FreedomSoar · #5 09-08-2009, 04:10 PM

I came to think
of Hephzibah House
as a Noah's Ark...

Our first clue that our daughter was in outward rebellion was the day she ran away. She had always been a joyful child and outwardly compliant. She has since told us that inwardly she struggled with rebellion from age 11.

Several years prior to her leaving, the Lord had begun working in our heart and family. He was calling us on to a closer walk and a more holy lifestyle. We were convicted of our conforming to worldly standards, and while we wouldn’t admit it openly, we were trying to have the best of both worlds. How close can one stand to the fire without getting burned? Little by little, we started making changes as the Father brought our compromises to light. While we were convicted of needed changes in our family, our older children were not. They envied the ungodly and wanted the friendship of the world. In spite of complying with our standards outwardly, they were inwardly resentful. At this time, Satan brought into our daughter’s life another rebel. And as rebels seek out other rebels, this relationship led to our daughter’s short but devastating flight into open rebellion.

The girls began seeking more and more time alone; often taking long walks. One evening, unbelief and shock gradually gave way to the reality that our daughter’s walk was too long. Her Dad went scouting for her, fearing that she was hurt. While he was gone, an empty closet revealed what her sister had feared and we were oblivious to, she had run away.

What have we learned through all this? To not follow the convictions of the Spirit or your children will leave? No! But we did realize that home schooling is no guarantee for trouble-free young adulthood as we had once thought. That our obeying the Spirit by making changes in our family only revealed what was already in the girls’ hearts, and that our loving Heavenly Father is faithful and will provide a way to escape, “that ye may be able to bear it” (1 Corinthians 10:13).

When the news that our daughter had run away was placed on prayer chains, some thought it a bad joke. Most people were kind but inwardly judgmental. We had left the local body of believers two years before because of their following worldly standards of dress and music. So to most, it seemed we were reaping the benefits of our actions. The hardest people to deal with and most painful were the beloved family members who had no clue. If we were surprised, you can imagine their shock!

During our daughter’s ten days into the hard world, she remained in contact by phone with her older sister. The slope down into sin is extremely slippery and steep. By the first phone call four days after her “escape,” she was already using bad language, and her spirit seemed hard. She pretended to be having a great time, but we could tell she was miserable. The most miserable person on earth is the Christian who is in rebellion to God and the authorities He has placed over them. By the grace of God, her sister was able to set up a rendezvous to give her sister some needed clothing. After picking her up, they drove to a secluded spot for their “picnic,” where her Daddy and his faithful friend were waiting in the bushes to escort her to a safe place.

Some dear friends had been praying with us for wisdom and direction. They had been supporters of Hephzibah House for years and suggested it to us. We knew of no other place, and saw it as our only hope. It was a long non-stop drive, but it was worth it to find a safe place for our daughter. It was extremely hard sending our daughter so far from home to a place I had never seen. Later the staff at Hephzibah kindly sent me a video tour of the ministry, which was a tremendous help.

Quite frankly, when we read over some of the rules of Hehpzibah, we were puzzled and momentarily questioned the need, but God gave us peace when we remembered that these people had been rescuing young women for many years. So whenever we would question some rule God replaced that concern with trust, trust in Him and in the staff. After all, they had tons more experience working with troubled girls than we had.

As my heart struggled to accept what had happened in our family and our daughter’s absence, I came to think of Hephzibah as a type of Noah’s Ark. Just as the Father had an ark prepared to save Noah and his family from destruction by shutting them in from the evil world, so He had prepared this ministry where our daughter was shut in for her own protection. God reminded me that He had told Noah to COME into the Ark where His presence remained with them, thus comforting me with the trust that He was with our daughter as well.

Over the many months of her stay, her letters and phone calls were cherished times in our lives. We read the letters out loud time and time again. Her letters sounded so good, but because of her having hid her rebellion for so long, we wondered if these changes were real. Was she just trying to sound “spiritual” so she could come home? Was her sweet repentance really true? These were the thoughts and concerns of hurting parents. I believe her stay at Hephzibah was a lot harder on us as a family than on her. We appreciated greatly being able to check with the staff on her progress, and we trusted their counsel. They knew better than to accept these seeming changes in a girl’s life until there was some real fruit to back them.

As the months went by, the Word of God clearly preached and all the Scripture committed to memory embedded truth into our daughter’s heart. So when the time came for our first visit, we were greatly blessed to see wonderful changes, from the angry young woman of the months before to a tearful, thankful daughter. We knew that these changes would only be temporary unless time and more truth were cemented into her life. With each successive visit, we were more and more encouraged that the real girl was truly shining through. Her last day at Hephzibah was celebrated with a high school graduation party and roses from her Daddy. I could see her love for the staff and their families grow over the months, so I was not surprised to find tears in her eyes as she was saying good-bye.

We praise the Father for the young woman that now blesses our home and is such an encouragement to us with all her Scripture songs and truths gleaned from her time at Hephzibah House. We truly have our daughter home, heart and body. The long months she was gone seem to have disappeared as God has restored the years the locust had eaten away. So with all my heart I want to thank the dedicated, Godly staff at Hephzibah. Thank you! Your ministry is truly an ark of safety. God bless you all!

Update on our daughter: In the years that have followed, both her Dad and I have spent endless hours talking with her about her stay at Hephzibah House. She has always spoken highly of the staff, and of her great love for them all. Among other things mentioned, were the times when rebellious girls chose not to follow house rules, yet during these times she never witnessed any abuse from the staff toward any student. My husband and I greatly appreciated the staff’s concern, and all the effort they made to minister to the child and to the parents. They always welcomed our phone calls and any questions about our daughter’s welfare. We believe they treated her very well, and we would not hesitate to recommend Hephzibah to others.

She is now beginning a very exciting time in her life as she prepares to marry a fine Christian man. With her heavenly Father’s help, she has taken the mistakes and bad choices in her life and turned them around to be a blessing to us all. We praise the Father for leading us to Hephzibah House at a very difficult time in our lives, and we praise Him also for the special friends that they have become during these past years.

FreedomSoar · #6 09-08-2009, 04:11 PM

Nothing but
positive feelings
about the home...
My daughter attended the Hephzibah House. The Williams took good care of her. She learned to love them and became best friends with his daughter.

I visited the home on six occasions and had nothing but positive feelings about the home. She came to know the Lord there and grew in the Christian faith. She attended high school at Hephzibah House and today is very successful in the law field and a wife and mother. I do not even want to think where she may have ended up if it were not for the Hephzibah House.

Most of the girls that go here have major character flaws and need help. The Williams were willing to work through this to help her see where she was and how she needed to change.

She learned how to cook and clean and be a mother. These things she had no desire to learn. She had a lot of fun and talks often of the fond memories.

I am so very thankful that I had a haven to send her to.

FreedomSoar · #7 09-08-2009, 04:14 PM

A marked

change for
the better...

I first heard about this caring program for teen girls from a social worker at a Mental Health Clinic. She related that she had known several families who had been helped there. I then spoke with others who were all positive about the program.

We visited the facility, interviewed the staff, and felt comfortable with the approach. We saw an encouraging balance of love, compassion and the necessary high standards and limits needed to bring hope to our beloved daughter.

She was actively endangering her life and future and all those around her: engaging in grand auto theft, driving without a license or skill, using drugs, having sex, and plotting to kill anyone who might block her determination to be “free” and “save” her boyfriend.

Although she struggled, we saw a marked change for the better in her attitude, moods, rage, etc. She advanced rapidly in her schooling. She was able to speak openly about her Spiritual struggles, described frequent joyful activities, such as snow forts, bonfires, parties, fun videos, playing the piano, and writing stories and poetry. She was involved in ministering to others. My daughter is an excellent writer and very intelligent. If there was any untoward discipline, she would have found a way to let us know when we visited or in her letters home or the phone calls we had with her.

We, as a family, have always been comfortable with making the Bible the center of our lives and finding grace to live accordingly. We recognize these same standards at Hephzibah House and believe their help has been self sacrificial, loving, and life saving for our daughter.

FreedomSoar · #8 09-08-2009, 04:15 PM

A Safe Haven

...not a prison...

This letter is to be shared to show our appreciation for the Williams and Hephzibah House. We've been in the ministry for over 20 years and we have had the privilege of helping many people put their lives back together. We've helped those who have ruined their lives financially, morally, those who have ruined their marriages and lost their children to drugs, alcohol and other vices.

But what happens when a pastor's daughter goes astray? What happens when your child is influenced by those you are trying to help? This is what has happened to us. The very people that we were trying to help have influenced our child in a way that is destructive to her future.
Children are exactly that, children. Their hearts are tender and easily influenced. They are easily pulled in all directions. They are influenced by all. What determines their future? What is best for them and who determines what is best for them? Is there not a safe haven for them? Is there not a place whereby they can be influenced in ways that will help them to be successful in life? Do we not want them to be successful? What if they are in a self-destruct mode, who is responsible for helping them?

We live in a world where the home is not what it use to be. The parents have a responsibility to raise their children in a manner that is safe and will help their children to reach his or her highest potential. The problem is, for the most part, that children are being raised by parents that have either never grown up themselves; the parents have not reached their potential and do not care about the children reaching theirs. We have children raising children, and we have a society in which it is becoming more difficult for good parents to raise their children in a manner that they think is right. People do not know what the definition of a "good parent" is anymore. We have become a society that rebels against all levels of authority and puts self first. That is a destructive society.

My wife and I strive to raise our children in a manner whereby they can reach their highest potential. We have tried to provide a home that is safe for our children on all levels. We want our children to have a balanced education and to be balanced socially as well. We have tried to instill into our children to serve others-- help those who are in need of help without being influenced by the vices of those you are helping. But sometimes those you are helping get through and influence the children in the wrong way and then the child is the one needing help. Not only has the child become self-destructive, but she is also destructive to those around her.

Hephzibah House is there to help. They understand the heart issues that take place and what needs to take place in the heart to help the child to change her destructive behaviors. Each parent that signs their child into Hephzibah House is given a full understanding of the rules, the manner in which their daughter will be living, the safeguards that are in place for their child's protection and so on. It is the parents' choice to enlist their child into the program.

For the child, Hephzibah House may seem like a prison. But for the parent who has placed their child there, Hephzibah House is a safe haven. It is a place where they can rest and be assured that their daughter will not sneak out of the house at night. They will not have to worry about their daughter getting pregnant or doing drugs. They will not have to worry about their daughter getting drunk and being killed in a car accident. Many of the parents who have placed their daughter into Hephzibah House have had friends or heard of other families where their child has ended up on the wrong side of the grave.

Hephzibah House ministers to the daughters as a help to the parents. They are there to help the child's heart to be restored to the parents and kept away from the harmful elements that so easily has influenced her. Would it not be sad if Hephzibah House has done their job and taken the rebel out of the child only to send her home to parents that are rebels? Maybe that is why the child was a rebel to begin with.

Hephzibah House has been a blessing to my family. We constantly received calls from counselors to give us updates on our daughter. They tried to help us restore our daughter's heart and to keep her from destroying her bright future. We greatly appreciate them and their facilities. We were given a tour and we are grateful for the security that is there for our daughter's protection. This protection is there from outsiders and it is there to protect our daughter from herself.

Not everyone may agree with the standards, methods, or security of Hephzibah House. The answer to that is, then don't send your daughter there. Would you rather your daughter to continue in the direction she was going in before you brought her to Hephzibah House? Would you rather a judge put her in juvenile detention until she's 18 or even 21? Would not that be worse?

With all the people we have helped in the past 20 years, we understand, agree, and appreciate Hephzibah House. We are proud to recommend them for all who have daughters that are in a self-destruct mode.

FreedomSoar · #9 09-08-2009, 04:16 PM

I am writing this letter with a heart that is filled with gratitude for the ministry of Dr. Ron Williams and the staff of Hephzibah House.

Several years ago, we found ourselves with a terrible dilemma facing our family. For a couple of years our 14-15 year old daughter had been growing in her rebellion and this behavior had brought her to the place where she ran away from home. She was living in a home where drugs and alcohol were available and encouraged and sexual promiscuity was acceptable. We couldn’t leave her there but we didn’t know any place to take her where she would be safe and secure.

We learned about and looked into the work of Hephzibah House. We decided that we would take her there and upon acceptance from Dr. Williams we made arrangements to get her to Indiana.

During the next year and a half our daughter was a resident of Hephzibah and a part of the school and church ministry. We talked to her every month, received letters every week, and visited the home on five different occasions. During that time we never saw anything that caused us to question the treatment she was receiving and she never complained or alerted us to any form of mistreatment. Of course, she didn’t like everything, especially at first but she was always treated with kind, reasonable, and consistent discipline.

In all the years since she has left Hephzibah House she has spoken of her experiences there on many occasions both publically and privately. She has never expressed any knowledge of mistreatment to herself or any other girls involved in the ministry. She has even recommended the ministry to others as a place where a rebellious girl could get a new start.

Our daughter finished High School, attended and graduated from college, and met and married her husband with whom she is serving the Lord today. She has said many times that our decision to take her to Hephzibah House saved her life. If we had not gotten her there when we did she was already determined to try drugs, to drink alcohol, and to become sexually active.

We are eternally thankful for the ministry of Hephzibah House and for the people that were used to help us help our daughter.

FreedomSoar · #10 09-08-2009, 04:17 PM

There are those of us who are well acquainted with Hephzibah House in Winona Lake and think very positively of the work there. I am a parent of a former Hephzibah House student.

It is still easy for my eyes to fill with tears when I remember the events my family and I experienced a few years ago. For more than two years we had had problems with our oldest daughter. We dealt with the problems, felt they were solved, and discovered they had simply “gone underground.” On a Saturday night my daughter and I exchanged words. She left my office to go to her friend’s car to get her coat... and NEVER CAME BACK IN. Twenty-four hours later she was in an automobile accident. It was purely the grace of God the she was not killed. Another day and a half passed and we discovered our daughter’s location. I went after her... was almost shot... the police intervened... we found ourselves in a Police Station. Fortunately our daughter was released to us.

Two weeks later, feeling we had done all we could do, we made the drive to Winona Lake where our daughter would spend the next 15 months. We were grateful she went peaceably. Not all girls do. We were also grateful there was some type of security there so we did not have to worry about her running away again.

This is still America. We who are conservative Bible believers respect the rights of liberals to believe as they believe and to train their children in that way. We would appreciate a little tolerance for our beliefs as well.

Incidentally, my daughter was happily married to a fine young man a few months after she came home. She and her husband are doing great and are both grateful that her Dad and Mom loved her enough to lay their own feelings aside and take her to Hephzibah House for 15 months. She has also read and approved my sending this letter.