Welcome to our forums...

If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed.


Results 1 to 10 of 10
  1. #1
    Just Gettin' Started
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    somewhere in the world
    Posts
    8

    Default why are so many christian women so unfriendly

    I was just wondering why so many christian women are so unfriendly to single women when they come to church. The reason i asked is because the church i go to in California the women are unfriendly even if they are single to.
    Last edited by innerlove94; 03-23-2007 at 11:30 AM.

  2. #2
    Forum Sage
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    16,532

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by innerlove94 View Post
    I was just wondering why so many christian women are so unfriendly to single women when they come to church
    Duh...single women represent a threat to married women in church or out. It is a normal aspect of life for single women to feel a little coolness from married women. Especially if the womans husband has a wondering eye.

  3. #3
    Forum Sage
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    In reality ;)
    Posts
    31,785

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Ebenezer View Post
    Duh...single women represent a threat to married women in church or out. It is a normal aspect of life for single women to feel a little coolness from married women. Especially if the womans husband has a wondering eye.
    I'm going to venture out a limb here and say that you're probably 100% correct on that, Eb...

    Yes, I am ignoring you...




  4. #4
    Fundamental Thinker
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Bristol, TN
    Posts
    1,531

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Ebenezer View Post
    Duh...single women represent a threat to married women in church or out. It is a normal aspect of life for single women to feel a little coolness from married women. Especially if the womans husband has a wondering eye.
    I would say that is probably true much of the time. Before I was married, I actually had a visit from a lady in a church I had recently started attending, warning me not to get interested in her husband. It took all my willpower not to say, "Lady, I would not EVER be interested in that ugly husband of yours, even if he were the ONLY man in the church." I just politely smiled and told her she had nothing to worry about and set about to find another church to attend.


    God is not on your back. He is on your side.
    -- John Bishop

  5. #5
    Master of Fundamentalism
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    345

    Default

    the same reason so many single women are unfriendly to married women... Predominantly, jealousy and they don't see that they have much in common, imho.

    however, I agree that is hard to be single in the average IFB church. I assume it is because of the minority status and truthfully people don't know what you do. I have had people what I do with all my time? (work full time, in church a lot, visit, sunday school, plus a home to care for, grocery shopping, oh wait.. the same things you do, only I am alone), where do I spend all my money?, etc.

    I think that as more and more people are waiting to get married and divorce is more common among Christians that singles are an open field of people that need to be loved and reached. It is also a group that needs a place to serve and find a way to reach others and be a blessing to others.

  6. #6
    Fundamental Thinker
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    1,095

    Default Unfriendly!

    Threat of non-comittment on single person life. Man has wife, kids, responsibilities. Single women have work, no kids, no commitment.

    There are also many married women I am very leary of. Unhappy marriages, kids, responsibilites, no money! Had a friend who's wife called my husband one day to meet him at the church, she wanted to talk. My husband had the smarts enough to tell her absolutely not and called me to tell me about it. We were very aware that they were having marital problems. A few months later her husband found her with another married man and soon after they divorced. Hadn't seen her in several years. My husband saw her a few weeks ago and he avoided her like the plague!

    I was single until the age of 39. In my case, I worked in Chicago and then was very involved in the nursery and only knew the husbands associated with their kids. I didn't let myself even think about getting involved with any married man.
    I'm just a sinner, saved by Grace!

  7. #7
    Like It, Love it, Gotta Have It
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    On top of the Green Mountains
    Posts
    10,915

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Ebenezer View Post
    Duh...single women represent a threat to married women in church or out. It is a normal aspect of life for single women to feel a little coolness from married women. Especially if the womans husband has a wondering eye.
    Eb, you seem to spend a lot of time in the ladies' room. Or is this Mrs. Eb?

    Back to topic. They aren't. I don't buy the "theiy're worried you'll steal their man" bologna. But they have less in common...birds of a feather flock together....

    Same reasons moms of kids tend to chat more with other moms with kids (and therefore the same concerns).

  8. #8
    Forum Sage
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    In reality ;)
    Posts
    31,785

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by southern belle View Post
    the same reason so many single women are unfriendly to married women... Predominantly, jealousy and they don't see that they have much in common, imho.

    however, I agree that is hard to be single in the average IFB church. I assume it is because of the minority status and truthfully people don't know what you do. I have had people what I do with all my time? (work full time, in church a lot, visit, sunday school, plus a home to care for, grocery shopping, oh wait.. the same things you do, only I am alone), where do I spend all my money?, etc.

    I think that as more and more people are waiting to get married and divorce is more common among Christians that singles are an open field of people that need to be loved and reached. It is also a group that needs a place to serve and find a way to reach others and be a blessing to others.
    You are so right, SB!! I didn't marry until I was 28, and I used to encounter the same types of things! However, our singles director & his wife at that time caught the vision of ministering to the singles - those older & not married, or divorced. We took them out of the "college & career" group & made them a singles class. And, it lit a fire! As we began to reach out & minister, our group tripled in size rapidly. We had to knock out a wall to expand the room we were originally meeting in! We did EVERYTHING together, not "just church". We went out to eat, we went skiing, we went to the park...WHATEVER! We all ministered to one another & developed friendships outside of church! It was truly the most amazing time of my life!! Now, sadly, since I am divorced, I am back at that church, which I so desperately love...but, that single's group is almost nothing. There are about 10 on a good Sunday. And, that's an issue when you're a single Christian. You know, I'm not going to be going out to bars, or wherever, to meet a Christian man. And, I don't just want a man who "comes to church" - I want him to be a true Christian...same man Monday - Saturday that he is on Sunday. He must have character. Where else are you going to meet someone like that besides church? And, yet, I don't want to leave my church. It's a sad situation...and, it is an area that is DEFINITELY ripe for ministsry.

    Yes, I am ignoring you...




  9. #9
    Just Gettin' Started
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    4

    Default

    I think that so many christian women are so unfriendly is because I think that they feel that they have to compete with these other women. which is stupid

  10. #10
    Like It, Love it, Gotta Have It
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    In bed - sleeping
    Posts
    11,139

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by innerlove94 View Post
    I was just wondering why so many christian women are so unfriendly to single women when they come to church. The reason i asked is because the church i go to in California the women are unfriendly even if they are single to.
    I'm thinking you need a different church where people are actually christian. The bible say we will know them by the love they have for the brethren. If you can't love fellow christians maybe you arn't saved. There's one or 2 ladys that I don't "get along with" at our church but over all the people are friendly and helpful. They know what its like to be single.

    Leela: "I usually try to keep my sadness pent up inside,
    where it can fester quietly as a mental illness."

 

 

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Page generated in 1,416,815,523.91632 seconds with 14 queries

Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0