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  1. #1
    Master of Fundamentalism
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    Default Favorite Church Sign Sayings

    What are some of the your favorite church sign sayings? Here are a couple that I remember seeing:

    Don't make your preacher lie at your funeral.

    God answers knee mail.
    "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge..." (Proverbs 1:7)

  2. #2
    Fundamental Thinker
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    A local church actually showed their inability to discern something bad when they put on their church sign, "Prayer does not mean lying in bed screaming, "Oh God, Oh God!" Apparently, they either didn't understand the obvious sexual innuendo, or just thought it was funny and appropriate.
    Love,
    the Halloween-Hater


    And without controversy great is the mystery of godliness: God was manifest in the flesh, justified in the Spirit, seen of angels, preached unto the Gentiles, believed on in the world, received up into glory. (1Tim 3:16)

    www.youtube.com/ukulelemike

  3. #3
    Master of Fundamentalism
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Michael Reed View Post
    A local church actually showed their inability to discern something bad when they put on their church sign, "Prayer does not mean lying in bed screaming, "Oh God, Oh God!" Apparently, they either didn't understand the obvious sexual innuendo, or just thought it was funny and appropriate.
    Yikes, now that's embarrassing.
    "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge..." (Proverbs 1:7)

  4. #4
    Fundamental Thinker
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    Default

    "We love hurting people."

    I'm sure they meant they give love to people who are hurting. But they missed the double meaning...
    Last edited by Izdaari; 07-18-2010 at 05:04 PM.
    Big-time negotiators, false healers and woman haters
    Masters of the bluff and masters of the proposition
    But the enemy I see wears a cloak of decency
    All non-believers and men stealers talkin' in the name of religion
    And there's a slow, slow train comin' up around the bend.


  5. #5
    Forum Sage
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Michael Reed View Post
    A local church actually showed their inability to discern something bad when they put on their church sign, "Prayer does not mean lying in bed screaming, "Oh God, Oh God!" Apparently, they either didn't understand the obvious sexual innuendo, or just thought it was funny and appropriate.
    I've seen that one before too.

    Recently I saw "The prodigal son had a bad heir day".
    If Costco is just a grocery store on steroids, then Wal-Mart is just a 7-Eleven with type 2 diabetes.

    [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WirclNop_hA"]YouTube - Lonesome Dove[/ame]

  6. #6
    Like It, Love it, Gotta Have It
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    Default

    A church just a few miles from where I lived had this on their sign:

    "Life can either break you or cause you to be broken"

    I never quite got the distinction.

    You did ran very well, but the stubbing block got a hold of you. -- The Gory Gland

    In bible times, it was hard to give birth with pants on. But not today, for they all now have zippers. -- The Gory Gland

    I new that this reply was coming, but I did not know from which sinner.... -- The Gory Gland

  7. #7
    Master of Fundamentalism
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    Default

    A popular one here that you probably have heard of is "You think it's hot here."

    There is also its cousin, "There is no A/C in Hell."

    I really hate church signs. If I ever move and have to find a new church, one of my requirements will be "It must not have a customizable sign anywhere on its property." I find that when people, even nice church-going folk, have the ability to say something profound and meaningful, that they often make a complete fool of themselves. I don't know of anyone that has ever passed one of these signs and said "You know what honey? There really won't be any air conditioning in Hell. Let's go to that church!"

  8. #8
    Fundamental Thinker
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    Default

    Those things are one of my major hobby-horses...so I'll try not to get started on the subject........

    What is it about a local congregation's leadership which blinds them to the idea that if you're going to put a message out there, let it be scriptural?.....rather than "cute" or "edgy"?

    I take photos of them, have quite a collection....and sad to say, some of the worst ones are from a local church where we were once members!

    Their current offering:

    LIVE YOUR LIFE RIGHT
    SO YOU WON'T BE LEFT

    some "gospel" there, eh?
    WARNING!

    These are the thoughts of a narrow-minded, opinionated, dogmatic old crank who is easily incensed by weak logic and who does not suffer fools gladly. At the same time, he is also toothless, and does not hold grudges since he cannot remember any perceived offense after his subsequent nap.

 

 

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