Submission vs. Controlling

[HeDied4U]

Was at Cici's Pizza earlier and was watching a young couple (man, that makes me feel old) up at the buffet line, and the guy (I'm assuming bf, didn't see rings on either of them) was hovering over the girl like he was afraid to let her get too far from him; he even went up to the drink machine with her, and he didn't get anything, and it got me to thinking about marriage and submission...

When does a wife's submission end and controlling tendencies of a husband take over? Is it ever "proper" for a wife to not submit to her husband, even if he is a control freak?

( Yeah, I'm bored today and have all kind of strange thoughts running thru my head )

[grannylo]

How many times do we have to hash this submission thing out.

Maybe the girl had an eating disorder and he was up there to make sure she got some food.

(love thinketh no evil)

[HeDied4U]

How many times do we have to hash this submission thing out.

Maybe the girl had an eating disorder and he was up there to make sure she got some food.

(love thinketh no evil)

[contraeverything]

So you are admitting you have no answer for her?

By the way, can you show me the sin of "controlling" in the Bible?

Just curious.... I am wondering if "controlling" is something that God takes offense at, or just something that feminists take offense at?

Then again, as one of my buddies says, "A man is only controlling when he refuses to let a woman have control."

[Excelsior]

Controlling is often the result of selfishness or jealousy. If a man will not allow his wife to leave the house without checking her mileage and seeing how much gas was used. If she has to give him an itinerary, yes, he has a problem.

I know of a couple like that. I grew up with the wife. She is one of the most godly, virtuous women I have ever known. He is a jerk--plain and simple. She has never done anything to make him think she would do anything untoward or wrong in any way.

[HeDied4U]

So you are admitting you have no answer for her?

By the way, can you show me the sin of "controlling" in the Bible?

Just curious.... I am wondering if "controlling" is something that God takes offense at, or just something that feminists take offense at?

Then again, as one of my buddies says, "A man is only controlling when he refuses to let a woman have control."

If she had made a serious comment, then perhaps I would have given a serious response.

As far as the "sin" of controlling, I don't believe it is in the Bible.

However, when a man refuses to let his wife go out without first knowing 1) where she's going, and 2) with whom, and 3) when she'll be back, doesn't that strike you as just a wee bit controlling?

Or when the man will not let her out of the house when he isn't home; won't allow her any phone calls; won't allow any contact with her family members, that doesn't strike you as controlling?

Granted, these are extreme examples, but should a wife just ignorantly accept this type of behavior from her husband and be the submissive little wife?

[contraeverything]

If she had made a serious comment, then perhaps I would have given a serious response.

As far as the "sin" of controlling, I don't believe it is in the Bible.

However, when a man refuses to let his wife go out without first knowing 1) where she's going, and 2) with whom, and 3) when she'll be back, doesn't that strike you as just a wee bit controlling?

Or when the man will not let her out of the house when he isn't home; won't allow her any phone calls; won't allow any contact with her family members, that doesn't strike you as controlling?

Granted, these are extreme examples, but should a wife just ignorantly accept this type of behavior from her husband and be the submissive little wife?

Did you answer ANY of my questions?

If something that you dislike is NOT delineated as being "sinful" in the Bible, does that tell you something? Should it tell you something about how your own likes and dislikes measure up to God's own will?

Once again - is being "controlling" something that is offensive to God, or merely offensive to you and some feminists?

EDIT: BTW, I thought grannylo WAS making a serious comment. Her point is pretty, uhhhhh, pointed. If we are the right kind of people, we do not spend our time looking into other people's business for something to get offended at. Love, as grannylo said (though I think she may have been quoting someone else slightly more famous, whose name escapes me....), thinketh no evil - it is not suspicious, it does not ascribe the worst possible motives to others.

So, if YOU were the right kind of person, rather than being offended at the bending of some fake feminist norm, you would have thought, as she apparently would have thought, "My look how devoted that man is to that girl...."

[HeDied4U]

Did you answer ANY of my questions?

I answered one of two; does that count??

If something that you dislike is NOT delineated as being "sinful" in the Bible, does that tell you something? Should it tell you something about how your own likes and dislikes measure up to God's own will?

I'm sure there are a lot of my likes and dislikes that don't measure up to God's will, just as I'm sure you have some as well.

Once again - is being "controlling" something that is offensive to God, or merely offensive to you and some feminists?

Did I say it was offensive to me? I was just asking a question, looking for some input. I did not state my opinion one way or the other.

EDIT: BTW, I thought grannylo WAS making a serious comment. Her point is pretty, uhhhhh, pointed. If we are the right kind of people, we do not spend our time looking into other people's business for something to get offended at. Love, as grannylo said (though I think she may have been quoting someone else slightly more famous, whose name escapes me....), thinketh no evil - it is not suspicious, it does not ascribe the worst possible motives to others.

So, if YOU were the right kind of person, rather than being offended at the bending of some fake feminist norm, you would have thought, as she apparently would have thought, "My look how devoted that man is to that girl...."

Well, there you have it boys and girls; contraeverything has just become the judge of hearts and minds.

[contraeverything]

Well, there you have it boys and girls; contraeverything has just become the judge of hearts and minds.

In our culture, when someone calls someone else "controlling," there is no need to see their hearts and minds. They are rendering a judgment on someone else - and that judgment is negative. The term "controlling" has a wholly-negative connotation in our modern, feminized society.

I have simply made two points. 1) What feminists consider to be "wrong", no matter how culturally accepted, is not likely to actually be wrong upon inspection of the word of God. 2) Anyone who labels another person as "controlling" is judging them personally - NOT making a judgment that the word of God makes.

I can label you a "liar" or "adulterer" and not be "judging you." The Bible tells us both of those things are wrong in God's sight and we all know what they mean. I cannot call another person "controlling" without personally judging them because being "controlling" is not something that God has defined as a sin.

So I am not a judge, merely a reporter.

[HeDied4U]

In our culture, when someone calls someone else "controlling," there is no need to see their hearts and minds. They are rendering a judgment on someone else - and that judgment is negative. The term "controlling" has a wholly-negative connotation in our modern, feminized society.

I have simply made two points. 1) What feminists consider to be "wrong", no matter how culturally accepted, is not likely to actually be wrong upon inspection of the word of God. 2) Anyone who labels another person as "controlling" is judging them personally - NOT making a judgment that the word of God makes.

I can label you a "liar" or "adulterer" and not be "judging you." The Bible tells us both of those things are wrong in God's sight and we all know what they mean. I cannot call another person "controlling" without personally judging them because being "controlling" is not something that God has defined as a sin.

So I am not a judge, merely a reporter.

Aahhh, but nowhere did I call the young man controlling. I said he hovered over the girl. I may have alluded to it with my questions that followed, but I did not come right out and say he was controlling. So, if you wish to be a reporter, at least get your facts straight.


BTW, haven't you ever watched a Maury or Oprah or Dr. Phil show about controlling husbands? They do exist, and I'm pretty sure God wouldn't be pleased with the way they treat their wives, especially since husbands are supposed to love their wives the way Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25 NIV). Colossians 3:19 NIV also comes to mind.