Yesterday, scientists for Health Canada suggested that, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer, men should take a look at their beer consumption. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women.
To test the theory, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each within a one hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong.
I was watching two deaf ladies in our church talking ... "from she to signing she".
__________________
The one great fallacy of fundamentalism is that we actually believe that while we are confessing the sins of others that the Lord will not look as intently on our own.
As I have gotten older, I have tended to become less dogmatic over certain issues: "(1 Cor 2:2 KJV) For I determined not to know any thing among you, save Jesus Christ, and him crucified."
While on a car trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After
finishing their meal, the elderly woman left her glasses on the table, but she didn't
miss them until they were back on the highway. By then, they had to travel quite a
distance before they could find a place to turn around. The elderly man fussed and
complained all the way back to the restaurant. He called his wife every bad name he
could think of. When they finally arrived at the restaurant, as the woman got out of
the car to retrieve her glasses, the man yelled to her, "While you're in there, you might
as well get my hat, too."
Last edited by 'Ol Crusader; 02-20-2009 at 04:57 PM.
A blond went to the hairdresser for a hair cut. The hairdresser told her that she needed to take off the headphones to get her hair cut properly. The blond responded that if she takes off the headphones she will die. So in the middle of cutting her hair the hairdresser is curious and pulls off the earphones and sure enough the blond dies. Curious the hairdresser listens to the headphones to see what the blond was listening to... "Breathe in, Breathe out, Breathe in, Breathe out"
__________________ Everyday is a gift, that's why it is called the present.
Johnny's Mother looked out the window and noticed him 'playing church' with their cat. He had the cat sitting quietly and he was preaching to it.
She smiled and went about her work.
A while later she heard loud meowing and hissing and ran back to the open window to see Johnny baptizing the cat in a tub of water.
She called out, 'Johnny, stop that! The cat is afraid of water!'
Johnny looked up at her and said, 'He should have thought about that before he joined my church.'
__________________
The one great fallacy of fundamentalism is that we actually believe that while we are confessing the sins of others that the Lord will not look as intently on our own.
As I have gotten older, I have tended to become less dogmatic over certain issues: "(1 Cor 2:2 KJV) For I determined not to know any thing among you, save Jesus Christ, and him crucified."
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